I Hate Technical Terms
Even though I’m pretty sure everything is OK, I’m still a little nervous. I can’t help it.
I’m pregnant.
According to how things get dated based on my cycle, I should be around 9 weeks right now. So, I was scheduled for my first ultrasound yesterday. We’ve had a fairly crappy week here in the Coy household, I was looking forward to some good, positive news to turn things around. While I didn’t get bad news, I didn’t get what I wanted, either.
I took a pregnancy test on 1/16, before we went to Oregon, and it was negative. I figured that, according to dates and my cycle, that must have meant I didn’t get pregnant this time around. I would have been about 4.5 weeks at that point, if I was pregnant, I should have been positive by then. But I kept “feeling” pregnant, and took another test the morning after we got home, 1/22. That one was positive.
When I had my ultrasound yesterday, everything was where it should be. Things were developing, but only measured 7 weeks. I am pretty sure I saw a heartbeat, and the nurse said she saw it too, but she said at that stage, she cannot determine definitely that it was the baby’s heartbeat and not my own. Honestly, I saw the heartbeat from a couple different angles, I am pretty sure it was the baby’s… but she wouldn’t say for sure, and she must know, right? She said she could not be sure at this stage (7 weeks). It was too early. So she scheduled me for another ultrasound in 2 weeks, to “confirm the viability of my pregnancy”.
I really hate that. I mean I really, really hate those words. I didn’t want technical terms, I wanted warm fuzzy solid good news.
Considering everything logically, it actually completely makes sense that I might only be 7 weeks pregnant. My first positive test was just over 3 weeks ago, and I tested positive with Jarrod at 4 weeks. 4 + 3 = 7. Also, I thought I was totally getting away with a milder case of pregnancy sickness, because as I told Bruce earlier this week, “I was way worse by week 9 when I was pregnant with Jarrod!” I probably wasn’t any worse than I am now by week 7 with Jarrod, especially when I think about it and remember it getting bad by week 8. Sigh.
I was nursing when I got pregnant, so it is entirely likely that my ovulation was delayed. Sorry if this is TMI for my male readers, but that’s just the way it goes. I’m having a catharsis post. I need it. Anyway, my cycles had returned several months before we got pregnant, but they were not at all regular. So ovulating 2 weeks later than I thought is not out of the range of possibility — in fact, it’s likely.
It is completely possible that I am 7 weeks, not 9.
Here are the reasons I am on edge about this whole thing:
- I thought the heartbeat could be seen earlier than 7 weeks. I guess the nurse wouldn’t have said otherwise if that was always the case.
- If I am only 7 weeks pregnant, that adds 2 weeks more pregnancy sickness to my future, and I do not like pregnancy sickness even a little tiny bit.
- I hate, absolutely hate the fact that the nurse could not “confirm the viability of my pregnancy” — even though I am pretty sure everything is OK, how can I feel totally comfortable until I know for sure?
Should everything not be OK, I’ll live, and we’ll try again. I’m sure we’d have no problem, as both times we’ve tried to get pregnant, it’s taken all of one month. I just really hope this one works out. I want to be pregnant now. I am pregnant now, of course — I just want it to stick. I want my next ultrasound to be tomorrow, not 2/26, which seems like an eternity from now. I just want to know, ya know??
Although signs point to everything being OK, I am still nervous. I would appreciate prayer, for the health of my baby-to-be, and for the strength to deal with whatever comes my way.